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Eternal Louth (Leg Youth)

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timtak1

0:30 I have found it! The elixir of legs. The femoral fountain of youth. The philosophers' bone, thigh bone. This exercise strengthen internal rotation of the leg and prevents bow legs, which cured my knee soreness, and my hip instability, and may provide eternal louth, leg youth. I am NOT a doctor. This is NOT medical advice.

The road to Pain Free Knees:

I am 56. When I was 40 I got fat, took up swimming instead of jogging, and I got a spinal hernia when I kicked too much doing crawl.

So I took up cycling and extended my road bike handlebars to a very forward timetrial like position, so that I did not have to use my butt muscles, to avoid sciatica (pain in my butt and down my leg due to the little bit of nerve tissue poking out of my spine)

Ten years later my right knee, and 15 years later my right hip gave out. What was going on? It was clear that my back problem was the original cause because the pain and instability was on the same side.

I found that pedal extenders helped with the knee pain. I did not believe that I needed more "Q" (gap between pedals) on one side of my body. I thought it had something to do with the fact that on the contrary, the increased Q made me want to *turn my foot inwards*, but I forgot about it.

One legged "Romanian" Squats helped a lot. I thought I was exercising the small muscles around my knee. But, I found out recently that one legged squats increase internal rotational strength.

Even so, it became more and more difficult to get into high gears. I also put my handlebars back to a normal position, and rearwardly offset my saddle, and rode like a normal cyclist. This strengthened my back and some muscles in my core, but my hips got worse.

From about 2 years ago I got hip instability. This was threatening to force me to give up running, perhaps soon cycling, certainly karate, and sitting at work. I only use standing desks and kneeling chairs these days. Scared, I did loads of

Flying dogs
Hip abductions
Side planks with abduction
CARs (controlled articular rotations) and Flying CARS, the same standing up
Hydrants (by the thousand)
Hydrant to donkey kicks
Donkey kicks to hydrants
Squats and more squats
Lunges and curtsy lunges

I was just about keeping decrepitude at bay but only just.

I notice again that ROTATIONAL leg exercise was effective
0) That bicycle pedal extender (that I had forgotten about)
1) When doing hydrants to donkey kicks, when I turned my heel up at the rear.
2) One legged squats on a rotating machine
3) Scything with a big grim reaper style scythe
4) Doing "The Twist"

Then I saw a physiotherapist give a lady "clamshell" exercise training explaining that rotational strength at the hip (butt) cures knee pain because it prevents one from going knock needed.

Bingo. I realised that was my problem and why my back hernia had caused knee pain. My spinal hernia cause sciatica which caused "glute (butt muscle) amnesia" that caused weak rotational strength, which caused bowed knees, as many old men have, which caused knee pain and eventually hip instability.

So all I needed to do was increase my internal rotational strength. Easier said than done. The standard exercise is "the reverse clamshell" where you lie on your side with knees bent, put an exercise band between your ankles, and rotate your ankle upwards. It did not work for me until I worked out to do it standing up.

Attach a stretchy band to a wall or table leg. Step into it with the leg furthers from the table/wall. Step over it with the other leg. Holding onto the wall or table, rotate your banded lower leg out backwards away from the wall. Repeat. I did about the 100 or these a day for he past 3 months and, it is the elixir of legs, the fountain of femoral youth and the philosophers bone, thigh bone.

My hip no longer hurts nor is it unstable. My knees are less sore, so much so that I don't notice. I am back to whizzing along in top gear (53 11) on my bicycle. The best thing it is that unlike squats, the 'standing reverse clamshell' does not load the knee and just exercises the muscle that is weak. So do a few of these exercises day before getting on your bike and your knees may love you.

This exercise is even more than hip abductions, mimics the motion used in sexual intercourse. We hump partly using rotational movements of the femur. Nature has planned obsolescence for those who are not making this motion, and provides eternal louth (leg youth) to those that are, even in their later years, since (prior to the discovery of this exercise) it was only those older men who had been chosen as mates due to their homo sapience wisdom who did not become decrepit and die. This planned obsolescence created a lifeordeath incentive to be the wise old man, homo sapien, with a wife to support, rather than simply adecrepit old bloke.

I call the exercise "Jesus suits" because "suit" is how I pronounce twist backwards, I have my arm out to one side, and this exercise, like Jesus, is our saviour.

posted by illiteratine