Mutiny! Your Queen hath been tortured, dethroned and thrown in the dungeon. Please send help forthwith. Not for me. For the Dimwits who betrayed me, for I shall wreak the greatest revenge once I escape this prison! In the meantime, do send treattreats. I've not had an offering in months! Or could it be days? Well, a fortnight at least. Posthaste, my subjects! Your Queen Shoshobeans has spoken!

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Music by Kevin MacLeod, www.incompetech.com