Is your intersex or trans child at risk of suicide?

As you know by now all children are different even if they are identical twins. Some children may have intersex or sex diverse biological features that you may not even know about.
Other children have diverse behaviors and gender expression that are not typically male or female.

This is largely a variance in nature like having red hair or violet eyes. It may be confusing to you, because you might know much about this, but don’t make your children wrong or shame them.

Do everything you can to give your child the impression they can trust you, tell you anything and be helped and loved when they need support.

When a child struggles with being intersex, sex diverse, trans or gender diverse it can be very frustrating for them at times. They may feel completely alone, have been bullied or people have made unkind comments to them.

This leads to anxiety, depression and experiencing trauma and a general feeling of fear for their safety. These children can be at high risk of suicide and may end their own lives without warning.

Constantly tell your child you love them
Tell them they are safe with you
That they can talk to you about anything without judgement
Assure them that their sex and gender differences are okay
Be their fiercest diplomatic advocate
Check in with them daily to see if they are alright
If they say they want to die bring in a health professional. Ask every day if that has gone away and if not talk it though with them

Sudden trauma in sex and gender diverse children can trigger panic and suicide thoughts and actions. You need to be vigilant.

Seek help from specialists in intersex and gender diversity. Ask for support and advice. Join a group for parent of sex and gender diverse children.

Sex and gender diverse children who are not supported have a more difficult time and are more at risk of suicide in childhood, teenage years and adulthood.

Research teaches us that children who are nonjudgmentally supported by their families do well. They grow up to be more stable, happy, confident adults.

I know you as parents you want to jump in and correct your child with the genuine intention of keeping them safe. Being intersex, sex or gender diverse is a complex constellation of the child’s experience, so your child need professional help.

Never attempt or with your child or allow anyone to attempt conversation therapy to make them so called “normal”. All the evidence is that this damages them, causes depression and increases the risk of suicide.

Be available and make its simple for your child to contact you or an appropriate adult if they are in trouble or feel suicidal. Never be too busy to listen to them and help them with their concerns.

As a sex gender diverse child sixty years ago my parents did everything wrong and nothing right. They were completely unsupportive and demeaning.

Consequently, I attempted suicide three times before I was 17 years old. I never trusted them. I could not confide in them and they did not accept my sex and gender diversity.
Of all the sex and gender diverse people I have seen over the years in my clinics the ones with the least problems were the ones with supportive parents.

Go with Peace

Dr Tracie O’Keefe DCH, BHSc, ND is sexologist, clinical psychotherapist and a mental health professional with 50 years experience in suicde rescue in sex and/or gender diverse communites.

Author of:
TransXUall: The Naked Difference (1997), Sex Gender And Sexuality: 21st Century Transformations (1999), Finding The Real Me: True Tales of Sex and Gender diversity (2003), Trans People In Love (2008), Suicide in Intersex, Trans And Other Sex And Gender Divers Groups: A Health Care Professional’s Guide (2021).

Sex And Gender Education (Australia)
https://sageaustralia.org/

Dr Tracie O’Keefe
Intersex, Trans, Suicide Recovery Sydney and Worldwide

https://tracieokeefe.com/intersextra...