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Why People-pleasers Can't Think Straight (Self-states Constructs Introjects)

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Prof. Sam Vaknin

Watch Why Narcissists Can’t Think Straight (Constructs, Introjects, Memories, Defenses)    • Why Narcissists Can’t Think Straight ...  

These automatic thoughts are at the core of people pleasing and parentifying children:

1. My happiness is always at someone else’s expense (zero sum game);

2. I have to earn my happiness, I don’t deserve it;

3. I have to somehow bribe people to stay with me, collaborate with me, help me, or tolerate me because I am a bad object (unworthy, unlovable, crazy, inadequate, dissolute, hopeless, and so on).

4. I need to compromise on my boundaries and rights owing to all the above.

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posted by negreanbl