From Thích Ñhất Hạnh's Q&A session on 2023/06/15. Recut to reduce viewtime. Captions:

"Dear Thay, dear sangha,

Almost a year ago, we had an adviser who told us (shortly after my husband and I got married) that my husband wasn't a real man and I wasn't a real woman.

He told us that we should take a course to become a man and a woman.

That has caused a lot of trouble in our relationship, and we got completely lost.

My husband tried to be someone he wasn't, and I tried to become a woman, not knowing what a woman should be like.

It got worse and worse, and caused a lot of trouble for our relationship. And ever since, I have asked myself the question,

"What makes a man a man? What makes a woman a woman?"

(Apart from the physical differences)

Is it important to know the difference in a loving relationship?
And what do you teach your child?

(Thày):
Be beautiful, be yourself.
(Laughter)

We have to accept what we are.

A lotus is beautiful as a lotus — she doesn't have to become a rose in order to be beautiful.

To be a gay, or a lesbian is equally beautiful.

We should not be caught by words and notions. Everything that we see manifests the wonders of God, of the ultimate reality. We have to deal with everyone, everything with the deepest kind of respect.

People say that I am a man, but I am not sure.
(Laughter)

Because I behave very often like a mother.
(Laughter)

My disciples see in me a father, a teacher, and a mother at the same time. And I enjoy being a mother.
(Laughter)

So let us not be caught by words and concepts. In Buddhism we have the word 'suchness'. It means, the reality as it is. You cannot use any concept or any word in order to describe it.

So we should not listen to those people who give us that kind of advice, and lose our joy, and our happiness.



See the Original Video:    • What makes us men and women? Thich Nh...  
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