Having arrived in Times Square via time machine, Legionary Dec. Helvidius Rufus challenges New Yorkers to understand the Latin language. Dr. Theophilus Vormelker, who accidentally brought Rufus to the future, has taught Rufus some English, which comes in handy as Rufus tests the comprehensibility of the Latin language with the local population.

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00:00 Intro to NYC
1:20 First contestant: Nadine
3:22 Second contestant: Josh
9:23 Third contestant: Nick
13:20 Fourth contestant: Hannah
16:53 Fifth contentant: Ilena
19:50 Sixth contestant: Giuseppe
22:18 Seventh contestant: Conor
22:51 Rufus' General Impressions
23:42 Eighth contestant: Anas quaedam
24:14 SPQR...
25:44 Conclusion
26:16 Outtakes

NOTES ON THE ANCIENT ROMAN ACCENT
This was an especially fun thing to imagine and put into practice. Many have often asked what an Ancient Roman accent would sound like English. The accent I gave Rufus was a combination of a few ideas:

Italian:
The foundation is essentially a highly stereotypical Italian accent. This includes some intonational characteristics, or how I say “okay,” and a few other factors. Indeed, when I speak Latin, I try to employ Italianlike intonation and oral posture — but it’s important to say that I fall well short of my intended goal in my actual production of spoken Latin, especially in an uncontrolled environment like the streets of New York.

Classical Latin phonology:
I reverted the Italian base to Classical Latin wherever in made sense: v is /w/, final /i/ /o/ /u/ are frequently lengthened, s is retracted [s̠], and th is [tʰ], for example “very nice to meet you” [ˈwɛ.riː na͡e̯s̠ tuː miːt juː] or “thanks I do to you” (calqued from Latin grātiās tibi agō) [tʰɛːŋks̠ a͡e̯ duː tuː juː], as if they were written phonetically in Classical Latin orthography “verī naes tū mīt jū,” “thēnx ae dū tū jū.” Latin also permits final consonants s, n, t, nt, unlike Italian (where there is an audible schwa vowel following in stereotypical Italian accents), but not final m, hence “I am strong” (valeō) [a͡e̯ ã strɔn] or [a͡e̯ ẽ strɔn].

Latin idiom and syntax:
Rufus tends not to use articles in English, as articles are not part of the Latin language. I also calqued many Latin idioms into English, such as “thanks I do to you” from grātiās tibi agō, “what is name to you?” quid est tibi nōmen?, “beautifully!” pulchrē!, “the most beautifully!” pulcherrimē!, “optimally!” optimē!, “minimally” minimē; or randomly inserting Latin grammar into the English, such as the dative case in “to the dominae.” I also attempted to spontaneously not “know” how to say things in English, trying my best to imagine the challenges that a native Latin speaker would undergo.

The result is an accent that sounds like a strange mix of Italian (the intonation), Slavic (inconsistent use of articles), Spanish (not as many schwas after final consonants), and Greek (retracted s).

Over the course of the day before we went to New York to film, I spent a few hours speaking this way, practicing the accent with my wonderful fiancée — who did such an amazing job recording this whole video — and she generously laughed at each one of my silly jokes or weird ways of speaking. If I had spent more time practicing the accent, I bet it would have been a lot more consistent and a much more “authentic” representation of how Ancient Romans might have sounded in Modern English. But I’m happy with the result, and it’s great that so many of you have found it entertaining as well.