My arrangement of A Shine Upon Inkwater Marsh from Ori and the Will of the Wisps, composed by Gareth Coker.

I'm quite happy with the section at 1:45. Instead of trying to sustain the melody notes, I added a new voice to fill in the gaps and create the illusion of a sustained note. To make this work, the melody needs to be clearly voiced and phrased I think I did a good job except the beginning, which is a bit shaky and the top voice is a bit too strong.

The biggest area for improvement is the transitions between sections, especially at 1:20 and 1:46. Not only should these entrances be very dramatic and have a clear dynamic difference from the previous phrase, but there should be some rubato to help the listener anticipate it. I did a better job at the beginning at 0:28 and 0:49 with the rubato, but they could be even more pronounced.

At 1:20, I tried to create an echo effect with the repeating phrases in the right hand. I'm not sure how well this came across the echoes generally sound more relaxed, which is good, but dynamically there could be an even bigger difference. I was concerned that this would cause the first iteration to sound harsh, but listening to the recording it probably would have been fine. Besides that, a stronger left hand and shifting the first iteration down an octave might help as well.

Sheet music: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TuEb...

Thanks for watching!