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Overcoming The Drama Triangle - ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ Story 3 of 25

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Happy Man Coaching

In this video about bullying and niceguy, I’m taking you on a little journey back to my childhood days, to a dusty dirt road in a small town where a daily battle unfolded between a little boy and his fears. This story isn't just about a bully; it’s about learning to stand up for oneself, something I believe many of us can relate to.

So, picture this: a young Charlie McKeever, probably about ten years old, living in a quaint house halfway down a long dirt road. Every school day, I had to catch the bus from the main paved road. This might sound straightforward, but it was anything but. You see, at the end of this dirt road lived the bus stop bully, a kid who seemed to find joy in making my life miserable.

He was bigger, louder, and always ready to pick on me. He was only a grade or two ahead, but in those days, that was enough to make him seem like a giant. Every day, I'd try to outsmart him by running ahead to reach home safely. But the real challenge was in the mornings, standing at the bus stop, waiting. Those moments were the worst because there was no escape.

Standing there, I’d feel this knot of fear tightening in my stomach. The bully’s unkind words and actions planted seeds of fear and shame in me. To cope, I would retreat into my mind, imagining myself as a hero who could stand up to him, even punch him in the nose. It was my mental escape, a place where I felt in control. But in reality, I felt powerless, constantly strategizing ways to avoid conflict rather than facing it.

Years later, I learned that these childhood experiences were shaping my adult life. The fear and shame I felt back then followed me into adulthood, affecting my relationships and my ability to stand up for myself. I’d get quiet and withdraw whenever faced with confrontation, whether it was with my wife or at work. I was still that kid trying to dodge the bus stop bully.

One day, I stumbled upon the book *No More Mr. Nice Guy*. This book was a gamechanger. It talked about how we often develop covert contracts with ourselves and others, believing that if we can get people to do what we want, we’ll be safe and our needs will be met. This mindset creates a dependency on others for our happiness and a feeling of powerlessness.

Reading this, I realized I was still letting my childhood bully dictate my actions. I was operating under old, ineffective rules I’d created to survive those bus stop moments. But here's the thing – those rules weren’t serving me anymore. They were keeping me stuck in fear and preventing me from truly connecting with the people in my life.

It was time to rewrite those rules. I began to retrain my brain, to consciously choose my thoughts and actions. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. It took simple, repetitive actions and a lot of selfawareness. But slowly, I started to see changes. I began standing up for myself, voicing my needs, and staying present in difficult conversations.

Now, I invite you to reflect on your own bus stop bully moments. Maybe you’ve never shared these experiences with anyone, but they’ve shaped who you are and how you interact with the world. It’s time to bring those moments into the light, to understand their impact, and to start taking control of your life.

Let’s have a conversation about your experiences. Share your stories with me, and together, we can develop a game plan to help you move from being a victim in your story to the hero. You have the power to change your narrative, to make choices that reflect who you truly are, and to live the life you want.

Remember, the bus stop bully doesn’t have to control you anymore. You can take ownership of your life, stand up for yourself, and leave those old fears behind. So, click the link, set up a call, and let’s talk about how you can start this journey.

Schedule a free coaching call with me to share your story and discuss what you'd like be different in your relationships and life.
☎ https://www.happymancoaching.com/sche...

I also highly recommend reading the book 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' by Dr. Robert Glover: https://amzn.to/36MyUUG

** Take My Happy Man Coaching, No More Mr. Nice Guy Course. **
https://www.happymancoaching.com/offe...

The course includes private oneonone coaching calls to help you understand the key concepts covered in the book, along with other important related concepts NOT covered in the No More Mr. Nice Guy book.

"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself." Wallace D. Wattles, 1903

** Disclaimer: I sometimes make money when you use my links to make purchases, but those products and services don't cost you more and your purchases support my efforts to reach and help more men.

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posted by Wirtbergys