A strange fear grips me when I release a poem like this. About losing a part of me precious and irreplaceable and at the same time it leaves me with an odd peace as if I decided to step away.

Rest assured, it's not my final verse but the embodiment of my fears, an echo in reverse.
Like an encore that deceives the artist momentarily, while he knows, a death mourned is the first step in the process of rebirth.

Special thanks to Konos for filming the shots that feature me and to the IACES LC Thessaloniki for the awesome motivational weekend I attended.

Support me on Patreon:   / illneas  

Find me here   / _illneas  
  / illneas  
  / illneas  
https://open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfB...

Second channel
   / @akidwithacameraorjustillneas  

Communities
  / discord  
  / 2314655172176122  
  / searchingformeaning  

References

The narrator is Yusuf
  / voiceguy_  
  / guywithavoice  

The music creator: prodbyIOF

My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
https://amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
https://amzn.to/33e5Tye
Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
https://amzn.to/2vr9P3N

Mad Boy's Love Song by illneas

Nowadays, I barely sleep
Thinking about how things used to be
About what these streets meant to me

I worry constantly
Thinking about where I will breathe
And about what will it all mean to me

Sometimes, I roam these streets
Noticing the places my body used to be
Seeking fragments from a life I used to live
But time has changed, or is it me?

The world around me seems to grieve
About the friends who were left behind
And the people no one should ever forgive

These streets used to whisper poems about me

Stories of a kid with glass beneath and above his skin
The traveler's son watching everything through a screen

A person like you, unable to feel
A person like me, unable to heal

I pause in between
The chapters of my life as I revisit scenes in my memory
Pointless conversations,
silly arguments
faded pictures
I'm searching for the promises I was supposed to keep
And for you on my chair staring at me

Yet, in this stalemate, I dare to sing
With a voice so fragile as my dreams
The beauty of my anxiety reflected in my speech

A newfound peace, admitting defeat
A reminder of normality, as I forget who I wanted to be

Dreaming about the person I will wake up and my mirror will meet
Choosing a life unsymmetrical and incomplete

I will always remember one thing
These everchanging streets still hold a grudge and a gift

For the tears I postponed and the stories I never wrote
The poems about a kid
That could be you
Or me
The poems about how I wanted to be a home for you
And you to be for me