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How many times have you come across that person that really sparks your interest and makes you want to get serious? What about that moment when you find out they’re not ready for a serious relationship, they just want to have fun, or go with the flow and see where things go. If you’re honest, how many mental gymnastics have you gone through to continue pursuing a relationship like that? You know they don’t want the same level of commitment, but you just feel like, ‘if only I hang in there long enough…’ Matthew Hussey is no stranger to Women of Impact and in this episode he’s addressing everything you need to know about commitment and why trying to commit and stick it out with someone who’s already told you they aren’t ready is not only foolish, but it’s high stakes and a total waste of your time. Matthew is the relationship expert many of you already know and love, but get ready because in this episode he’s going off to let you know how serious he is about the time you’re wasting on people that just don’t want a relationship. It’s hard truth ladies, but it’s a powerful dose of medicine you may need right now.

Make sure to check out this FREE 30 Day Challenge from Matthew Hussey to build confidence:
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SHOW NOTES:

Committing | How dating apps and social media has made fear of commitment worse [0:59]
Giving Yourself | Why it’s only painful in the wrong hands and choosing who to give to [6:36]
Conditional Love | The costs involved with committing and how to assess what’s worthy [10:04]
Energy Management | Protecting yourself from dating burnout from misplaced energy [13:50]
Dating History | When a person’s character is questionable from their relationship history [19:00]
Trust Yourself | Trust your gut and rely on people around you to make accurate decisions [24:16]
Validation | Engineering answers you want to hear and not being honest about yourself [29:16]
Communication | The purpose is making progress through the friction to get closer [32:39]
Timing | Staying with someone not ready stunts their growth and wastes your time [41:00]
Not Ready | When someone says they’re not ready what’s the best way to proceed [47:11
High Stakes | Why it’s arrogant to think you can change someone to want a relationship [50:15]

QUOTES:

“When we're away from someone and we're investing in them through our thoughts. Even if it's not visible to them, we're investing psychologically in the situation.” [3:10]

“Take the beauty in what you gave, and know that in the right hands, that remains a beautiful thing.” [7:49]

“The danger is if we say giving equals pain. No, giving doesn't equal pain. Ignoring things, ignoring the fact that I'm giving to the wrong person equals pain.” [8:29]

“Romantic relationships are conditional, because who would want to be in a relationship long term with someone who never gave back?” [9:56]

“Your game is not to worry about someone else. Your game is energy management for yourself.” [13:50]

“I have a limited amount of energy. Not everyone can have it. And my heart isn't something I give. It's a house that I invite people into.” [14:36]

“Character is something that you see in people's actions every day. It's not in a grand gesture. It's what behavior Am I seeing from this person every day” [20:40]

“On a first date, your job is not to be a human lie detector. Your job is to see if what they're saying aligns with the kind of person you're seeing in front of you.” [24:19]

“Every time we're hung up on a mistake we've made or something someone else has done, or whatever we're not, we're not living in the moment of what can be made beautiful now.” [40:16]

“The fallacy is that, because I've invested this much time and energy, I now have to make it work. That is the easiest way to throw away your life.” [43:02]

“Assuming that the relationship that evolves is going to fit the template that you want for somebody else, that's fantasy” [52:40]

“You have all this pain staying here anyway. So at least have the pain that's a question mark. This pain is a period, it's not a question mark. At least leaving means possibility.” [56:34]

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