"2020 can't get worse, but August is telling you to hold his beer."
Credit to Logos2078 for the blackwhite EAN screen, the EAS scenario gods for helping me, and credit to JayFeather31 for the 1983 EBS screen.
NOTE: This is fake and not real. This might contain valid EAS SAME Headers and tones. And the sirens might scare viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.