Dr. DawnElise Snipes provides tips for developing assertiveness skills and discusses why assertiveness skills are an important part of depression treatment and anxiety treatment.
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#assertiveness #communicationskills #boundaries #relationshipskills

Assertiveness Skills
Presented by: Dr. DawnElise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox and Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Objectives
Define Assertiveness
Overcoming the Stress Barrier
Overcoming the Social Barrier
Overcoming the Belief Barrier
Reality Check
Nonverbal behavior
Giving your opinion
Giving constructive (not critical) feedback
Making requests without trying to control
What is Assertiveness
Assertiveness means stating your feelings, wants and needs
Clearly
With ownership
With conviction…. (but…I don’t know…)
Assertive behavior may not be appropriate in all workplaces. Some organizational and national cultures may view assertive behavior as rude or even offensive.
Research has also suggested that gender can have a bearing on how assertive behavior is perceived, with men more likely to be rewarded for being assertive than women.
Advantages of Assertiveness
Assertiveness helps us feel good about ourselves and others
Assertiveness leads to the development of mutual respect with others
Assertiveness increases our selfesteem
Assertiveness helps us achieve our goals

Why Not Be Assertive?
Failure to be assertive stems from:
Prior efforts to be assertive being punished
Fear of rejection
Need for external validation
Assertiveness requires
Confidence
Emotional control
Effective verbal and nonverbal communication skills

Staying Calm...
6 Characteristics of Assertiveness
Eye contact: Demonstrates interest, shows sincerity
Body posture: Congruent body language will improve the significance of the message
Gestures: Appropriate gestures help to add emphasis
Voice: A level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating
Timing: Use your judgement to maximize receptivity and impact
Content: How, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than

Techniques for Becoming Assertive
Behavioral rehearsal

Assertive
Know your human needs
Biological needs
Safety and security
Creation, participation, contribution
Love, belonging, understanding, significance
SelfEsteem, growth, autonomy
Pay special attention to those universal needs that you think are not important to you.
Explore if you are using selfdeception or denial and why (I didn’t want that promotion anyway.)
Connect your severe negative emotions (anger, anxiety, depression, envy etc.) to the fear
Steps to Being Assertive
Identify areas where you are and are not assertive.
Steps to Being Assertive
Face your fears and practice being assertive with moderate selfexposure
Example of practicing assertiveness with the opposite sex:r
Develop your social skills to improve your selfconfidence
Read 10 different books in an area where you are not assertive
Join a public speaking course, if you’re terrified of public appearances
Practice negotiating with a friend, if you’re afraid of heated discussions
Learn how to manage difficult people and conflict resolution skills

TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Introduction
1:15 Objectives
2:20 What is Assertiveness
5:15 Advantages of Assertiveness
8:16 Why is Assertiveness Important
11:45 The Stress Barrier: Fight, Flee or Freeze
14:50 The Social Barrier
18:02 The Belief Barrier
22:30 Why Not Be Assertive?
33:05 Assertive Behaviors
43:55 I Statements
44:39 Techniques for Becoming Assertive
47:24 Nonverbals
52:10 Constructive Feedback
56:14 Say "No"
59:20 Group Activities