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7 Phases of Shared Fantasy: Why Narcissist Needs YOU

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Prof. Sam Vaknin

This is a summary of my shared fantasydual mothership framework for the narcissist’s intimate interpersonal relationships.

7 Stages of shared fantasy:

1. CoIdealization (lovebombing, introject and narcissist all good because he owns object)

2. Dual mothership in a shared fantasy (recreation of childhood)

3. Need to reenact separation leads to mental discard which results in narcissistic injury (narcissist not omniscient, his judgment was wrong)

4. Devaluation of external object to restore grandiosity (make egocongruent sense of the discard of an hitherto idealized object).

5. Devaluation of introject via splitting defense (introject now allbad, narcissist grandiosely allgood)

6. Real life discard: projection of introject to you in an attempt to integrate it with external object. Projectionintegration fails owing to abandonment anxiety triggered by introject inconstancy and your refusal to own split, allbad introject. Devalued, split, allbad introject remains as internal object, in narcissist's mind. This creates anxiety (bad object internalizationintrojection)

7. The only way to reintegrate this internal object and reduce anxiety is by reidealizing the external object and the corresponding introject. This is impossible if the narcissist has been mortified. He then departs from his previous version and reinvents himself which allows for selfidealization (grandiosity restored).

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posted by negreanbl