This film was shot at my 3rd Birthday Party in May 1975. It takes place in the backyard and garage of our postwar babyboomer bungalow in Garfield Heights, Ohio – an inner or first ring suburb of Cleveland.

I’ve seen this movie plenty of times. But I don’t think I’ve ever really studied it as an adult. I recognize myself easier at this age since I’m not hard to find – my hair has darkened enough by this point that I’m the only one amongst my cousins that doesn’t have blonde hair. However, those blonde streaks would remain and annoy me my entire life especially now since they’re pure white.

How’s my memory? I recognize every person and remember every agonizing moment as if it was earlier today. While I have never suffered from any form of anxiety – it is clear from my expressions that my personality is set – and that people exhaust me. Even family.

It’s not hard to see why. My thoughts this entire day were “everyone leave”, “stop touching me”, “I can do it myself” and “get your hands off my stuff”. All I wanted was to go in my room, be by myself and play with my toys. After all, it was my party – and I could cry if … well, not quite. But I am clearly the most miserable one there. Although, my cousin Laura sitting on a chair by the back fence who's just shy of 15 at the time this was filmed is a very close second.

My journey through these home movies has an intended destination – to better understand how much of a product of nature or nurture I am. I would guess that whatever I had in me genetically was reinforced to the extreme by my extroverted, wellmeaning family. I got way more love, attention and socialization than I probably could consume. Perhaps my desire for periodic isolation – especially when I am stressed – is an attempt to give that child in me the one comfort he never had. Side note: watching my mother in action, the one thing that is VERY clear in this movie – applying some MBTI babble – is just how much ENTJness she really displayed at times.

Toward the end – when I finally smile – is the first time the neighbor’s chainlink fence is obvious. One interesting aspect of growingup in a city was navigating housetohouse. Sidewalks and front yards were the least desirable paths. An option was the pseudograssalley that ran behind garages of adjoining streets – although, you never knew what could be lurking back there. Therefore, the goto choice was running through backyards. So you quickly learned how to climb/jump and flip over fences in a single motion. It’s hard to describe – but you’ll know what I mean if you did it a million times in your childhood.

Some other oddities I notice. My aunt is 8 months pregnant – my youngest cousin Anthony was born less than a month later. The brick grill was there when we moved into the house in 1974 and as far as I can tell on Google Maps – it’s still standing. The rainbow of spaceageplastic coffee “cups” that used the disposable Solo inserts they were a staple of 1970s family gatherings. The weird assortment of fabric lawn chairs, folding chairs and whatever else was available. And despite a general recollection that things were “better made” back then – metal, glass, wood – those TV trays were as flimsy as paper!

Digitized with a Kodak Reelz and edited with DaVinci Resolve Studio. All products used were purchased by me for my own personal use.